How to get girls without being rich, famous, handsome, or charismatic

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Last updated 4-9-09

figure of a woman pouring wine into a glass

We all know the top ways that guys get girls. But those mostly involve elements doled out naturally by luck alone, such as good looks, lots of money, charisma, and social popularity. Scientific statistics rule out not just one of these things for most men, but usually all four. Damn!

The hard truth of the matter is that you could be the most fantastic dude on the planet-- a real life hero (or a super-genius) and none of that would matter one whit, compared to the four items listed above.

Women want social status, which means being with a guy thousands of other women have publicly proclaimed to be desirable-- or else with a rich guy: as sufficient money can count much the same as popularity in this contest.

Popularity AND money is the dream ticket, where women are concerned.

Good looks and charisma usually come nowhere near money and popularity as being powerful attractants to women. But they're the only reasonably potent items on the list left for men who are neither wealthy or major celebrities of some sort.

But despite the theoretical remedies of plastic surgery, weight-lifting, and self-help books, good looks and charisma overwhelmingly tend to stem from the universal lottery of luck too, much the same as wealth and popularity.

So what's a guy to do when he's got none of those things? And no matter what he does, can't change his status regarding those particular elements?

Well, in that case, you've got to plumb the lower tier opportunities for sex.

Bottom-feeders

Lots of guys just give up and immediately dive to the metaphorical ocean floor of sex to become 'bottom-feeders', once they realize all the above. Abandoning virtually all standards and simply bedding whatever women will have them. There, most or all the women available are likely desperate for either (or both) sex, or a husband.

In the case of sex desperation, that means these women are pretty much the same as most men in their on-going search for sex; that is, it'll take very little to get them into the sack. And, also like a man, they'll only want more from you so long as it continues to satisfy them.

Where they're after a husband instead (or too), the women may even act as predators, and go so far as to purposely get pregnant in an attempt to keep either you, and/or your future earnings potential via child support.

And-- I must remind you-- this is also the level where lots of sexually transmitted diseases get traded among partners.

Ugh!

The vast territory between the cream of the crop and the bottom of the barrel

But luckily the world of sexual opportunity isn't just divided into the champions of the four traits at top, with a world of absolute losers below. No, there's a large category in the middle where hope remains for high quality hookups and more. Maybe even marriage to a fantastic woman!

So what's the 'lesser attractors', as many might call them? Sexual lures which can be wholly independent from great looks, popularity, money, or charisma in a man?

Number one is animal attraction

This stuff truly exists. But is very unpredictable, and therefore not very reliable. It's also something which tends to work only in close quarters, as it's heavily dependent upon the human sense of smell.

Yes: animal attraction stems from a man's natural odor, inhaled by a woman. Pheromones. There's also the opposite version of female pheromones inhaled by a man. In either case, an intense sexual attraction can be generated by such scents. Success depends solely on the compatibility of two people's DNA.

Pheromones seem to work most powerfully upon the young of both sexes. From maybe around age 15 through the mid-20s. At 26 and older, pheromones can still work, but are more easily resisted by reason and circumstance.

Pheromones are what can drive two people into a sexual frenzy within only moments (top tier celeb status can as well; picture groupies tearing off the clothes of their favorite singer or movie star). But typically only one person of a couple is being influenced in a big way by pheromones, as finding your perfect pheromonal mate may be something of a rare event.

With most men's sex drive being what it is (turned on almost 24-7), it might often be hard to tell the difference between a man running on normal lust, or on pheromones. But women are a different case, with their natural levels of lust usually being virtually undetectable, while their passion on pheromones will often be clear for all to see.

So is there any way to increase your chances at striking gold with pheromones? Yes. Don't over-power your natural scent with artificial ones! Even strong-smelling soaps might best be avoided. Clean is good; perfumed is not. Some scientists believe pheromones might work despite all the artificial scents we douse ourselves with these days-- but no one knows for sure. And I suspect the postive thinkers wrong-- at least for some portion of the population-- for the simple reason there's so many people living frustrated and alone these days. All those damn deodorants and colognes and perfumes and scented soaps and shampoos and other aromatic accessories could be screwing with all our love lives big time! And to make matters worse, studies indicate birth control pills artificially alter women's preferences pheromone-wise. Meaning the women who might naturally be attracted to you might be put off instead due to the pills' effects.

But there is a potential bright-side to this phenomenon. Namely, with all those women confused by their pills about who they're truly attracted to, you may get the chance to taste the charms of some types of women you never would have otherwise. In other words, while the pill may be preventing you from being with the women to which you would naturally 'belong', it's also giving you the chance to be with other men's women.

One sad note here: Unless the pill also changes the male-attracting pheromones emitted by women, then we men are really getting the short-end of the stick. For that means the women we're meant to be love-struck by may never feel the same way about us. And only the women we aren't meant to love will be strongly attracted to us.

Talk about a screwed up world! But wouldn't that neatly explain the current confusion and chaos between the sexes? As well as rising divorce rates and numbers of single people?

A second tip would be to find a way to spend time close up with lots of eligible women, be it on the job or some other place. Travel which will put you into close quarters with plenty of different women is a good idea too. Spending lots of time like this in the close company of many different women will vastly increase your chances of finding a favorable pheromone connection. However, keep in mind this can be a hazardous practice. For it's always possible you'll encounter the reverse of what you're after: you succumbing to the pheromones of a woman, when the attraction isn't mutual. That kind of situation can be just as painful as its opposite can be pleasurable.

Pheromones can and do bring about permanent pair bonding on a frequent basis. Despite the chemical effect almost never lasting more than a year or so, and often far less.

What brings about permanent relationships in such cases is two people discovering they share lots more in common than just sexual desire towards one another. Wherever that doesn't occur, the end of the pheromonal effect will likely spell the end of the relationship too.

There's a second version of this scent-based attraction wholly independent of pheromones: nostalgic aromas. These consist of smells a woman recalls fondly, and might be something like the cologne her father used to wear, or the smell of her mother's apple pie. Literally anything!

Nostalgic aromas are just as unpredictable as pheromone-based ones. And not usually anywhere as potent as pheromones. But nostalgic aromas can help you get your foot in the door with a woman. And nostalgics likely work over a much greater span of a person's lifetime than pheromones.

Want a third scent-based trick? One that might at times be even stronger than the particular pheromones described above? Here it is:

Having the scent of other women on you.

Yes, believe it or not, that's a strong attractor to women in general. But the scent of just any other woman won't work here. It must be the scent of a happy mother. Preferably one that's still nursing an infant.

The ultimate version of this would be somehow dousing yourself with the scent of several different nursing and happy mothers, I suppose.

But hey! you might exclaim. How the heck are you supposed to get hold of something like that?

Well, the scientists who discovered this had such women keep some pads in their bras for a while to collect the scent. Maybe the main way the average guy could replicate this (without being a scoundrel cheating on his own nursing wife) would be to be lucky enough to have a woman friend in such circumstances willing to help him out. Alternatively, getting a job as an orderly or nurse in a hospital department caring for new mothers-- and doing everything you could to make those new mothers happy-- might get you some access to such scents for your own use.

For all those people out there who think this is a low-down notion, keep in mind the only way the trick would work is if those new moms are kept as happy as possible under that guy's care in the hospital. They wouldn't have to know he was trying to harvest their scent for his own private purposes. They'd just have to be kept happy.

I can think of far worse things a guy could be doing than trying to make new moms happy!

Old fashioned wooing

The second on the list is good old romance. Memorable shared experiences. A good story, well lived.

If you can show a girl the time of her life-- even just once-- sometimes that'll be enough to win her heart forever.

But of course the one-time deal-sealer is rare. More often than not you'll have to show a girl a good time repeatedly, and with plenty of variety in the mix as well, in order to win her over.

Experiences like this can require a lot of creativity and preparation. Especially on a budget. The better you get to know a woman, the better a shot at success with such things you should enjoy. Unfortunately, luck will play a big role here too, in many cases.

Drugs

Third on the list is a revisit to chemical aids. This time man-made, rather than natural. Like alcohol. Marijuana. Cocaine. Other drugs.

Yes, we've all heard the lectures. And know of the alcohol and drug-related nightmares fostered by certain predators out there. But in general alcohol and other drugs have been a normal and widely accepted part of the courtship ritual for thousands of years, utilized by virtually everyone, from the top elite of society, down to the very bottom dregs.

Alcohol and drugs are likely used most for this by the non-rich, as they can't afford romantic sea cruises or a spur of the moment trip to Paris via private jet. And even the most creative among us may find it impossible to come up with inspired ideas for wonder-dates on a regular basis.

Alcohol and other drugs can make the mundane seem extraordinary. Make an average night on the town more memorable and easy-going. Make all those whispered sweet-nothings seem more profound and endearing.

Drugs work so well that even men who actually do possess looks, money, popularity, and charisma still resort on occasion to drugs of one kind or another, too. Especially in the rare circumstance where the woman being courted is little affected by the man's natural sex appeal.

Seeing is believing (in arousal)

Something else that turns women on, or gets them more receptive to sex, is seeing the naked breasts of other women. Seriously!

Of course, arranging that for your chosen gal might not be an easy feat. But it's definitely doable.

Here's a few ideas:

Hanging around topless beaches. Or getting a job where women might be changing into and out of swimsuits a lot (and so seeing one another during the process). Or where they'll be spending time together in a steam bath. I.e., getting a job at a spa might be good.

Easier alternatives to this might be determining which films she might enjoy watching with you on the couch at home (or at a theater) which will also offer a healthy show of boobs to enhance your evening together.

Yet another possibility might be casting yourself as something of an artist or photographer, and thus having the perfect excuse to have a few images of topless women displayed around your place-- even if only in a portfolio, or among a few framed pics including other subjects as well on your walls.

If your pics look sufficiently professional and classy, that might even allow you to successfully get her to pose for you in various states of undress...

Minor celeb status

The fifth channel is becoming a local celebrity or a niche celeb.

I mention this last because-- although it can be developed into a potent sexual tool-- most guys will either dislike the work involved, or simply not need it due to one or more of the prior items above netting them all the action they require.

Getting into your local newspaper on a regular basis is probably easier than you expect. And establishing your own internet web site easier still.

No, the trick isn't in getting published in those venues; but in making sure the coverage is desirable from a sexual point of view. That is, attracting to the ladies.

And that means offering up things which lots of ladies will talk about amongst themselves.

Exploring the field of subjects most likely to set women's tongues to wagging favorably about you is a subject best left to its own article. But there's nothing stopping you from doing your own research on the matter. You might start by contemplating local male celebrities who already exist in your region (or chosen web niche) which are also known to be well-liked by lots of women.

Another tip is that establishing your personal 'brand' online or in local stories for the ladies might not be much different from that involved in branding a business through marketing and advertising efforts.

Social networking sites like Myspace and Facebook are being used by quite a few people these days to hook up-- even locally. That's one place you can leverage to attain some minor celeb status via your online efforts. Other internet spots include those catering to special interests whereby you can attain something of an authoritative status online, and occasionally meet up with others of like mind at regional or national conventions related to same.

Even relatively obscure authors can often buy booth space at such events for book-signings or whatever, to seek out the company of female fans. With today's print-on-demand services you can even have a stack of your own professional looking books sitting on your table for sale and signing, at relatively low cost. And with a little creativity such as offering freebies of certain kinds, etc., you can give the impression there's a bustling interest in your little stand there. But you can read more about techniques like that elsewhere online.

WARNING!

You'd best exercise some self-control when applying certain of the techniques on this page (especially the alcohol or drugs). For when it's YOU that gets shit-faced, you'll very likely end up regretting it. Like the poor schmuck below: